Neurodivergence
Natural variations in everyday and social thinking, sensing, and feeling. Could look like ADHD, Autism, and blends of both. Much of the frictions we face stem from the societal structures we live in.
Definitions
Neurodivergence describes the natural variations in how brains function, think, feel, and process the world.
Conditions like ADHD, Autism, and AutiHD (a combination of both) reflect ways of existing that don't always align with dominant social standards. Much of what is labeled as "neurodivergent" stems from a comparison to Westernized, often white, allistic norms and standards. These standards are built around those who can most efficiently and comfortably perform within capitalist systems that value productivity over well-being.
Folks from different racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds all express themselves differently. We all experience resilience, communication, and adaptation based on our backgrounds and experiences. Sometimes, what gets labeled as "neurodivergent" is more a reflection of systemic bias than of inherent neurological difference.
Conversely, many individuals (especially women, gender-diverse folks, and people of color) are not diagnosed with neurodivergence even when their lived experience reflects significant sensory, cognitive, or emotional differences.
Medical biases, financial barriers to formal testing, and cultural stigma (particularly from older generations or communities unfamiliar with neurodivergent frameworks) can all contribute to underdiagnosis or misdiagnosis. Many have learned to mask or internalize their struggles without ever receiving language or support for what they’ve lived through.s
Let's notice that neurodivergence looks different across cultures.
In collectivist societies, traits labeled as "rigid" or "emotionally distant" in the U.S. might be seen as normative expressions of loyalty or emotional regulation. Sensory sensitivity that is pathologized in the West might be honored elsewhere as spiritual attunement or artistic sensitivity. What we classify as a "disorder" is inherently shaped by the values of a particular place and time.
Let's notice the experience of neurodivergence.
For folks with ADHD, life might feel like a constant tug-of-war between energy and overwhelm, passion and frustration. For autistic folks, the world can feel unbearably loud, confusing, or hostile—and the effort to "mask" or adapt can be exhausting. For those who identify with both ADHD and Autism (AutiHD), these experiences often overlap, amplify, and create a complex, layered reality.
Neurodivergence is a meaningful and valid way of experiencing the world.
It reflects a nervous system and cognitive pattern that may need a different pace, sensory environment, or way of connecting in order to thrive. The difficulties that often come with neurodivergence arise from the friction with environments, institutions, and systems that privilege certain ways of moving, thinking, and producing over others, not the brain itself.
Symptoms
The "symptoms" of ADHD, Autism, and AutiHD often reflect very real attempts to adapt and survive in environments that were never built with neurodivergent needs in mind.
Challenges with executive function, sensory regulation, communication, or emotional intensity reflect strategies honed over time to navigate systems that value conformity and productivity over care.
Avoidance plays a role here, too.
When environments feel unsafe, overwhelming, or confusing, some turn to withdrawing, masking, shutting down, or hyper-focusing to manage distress. Over time, these coping mechanisms can become deeply ingrained, sometimes making it harder to connect with one's own needs and internal signals.
The nervous system learns quickly.
It remembers where it's been overwhelmed, dismissed, or hurt. Without realizing it, many neurodivergent folks build protective walls around themselves, shaped by the need for safety in environments that felt overwhelming or dismissive - especially environments that demanded constant self-surveillance to "fit in" or "succeed."
Why Does It Show Up?
The ways neurodivergence presents itself reflect the complex interplay of life experiences, environment, and resilience.
It's shaped by a lifetime of experiences: family dynamics, schooling, cultural expectations, systemic oppression, trauma histories, and relationships.
A child with ADHD might learn to equate their worth with productivity and constant motion in a culture that prizes output over presence. An autistic child might learn that their natural ways of communicating are "wrong" and mask their true selves to survive in a world that misunderstands their language. Over time, these lessons build into patterns that affect relationships, work, self-esteem, and even physical health.
Understanding neurodivergence means understanding resilience.
Every "symptom" carries a story of adaptation. Every shutdown, every sensory need, every lost train of thought is a reminder of a nervous system that has been working overtime to protect and preserve the self - often in the face of systems that did not recognize or nurture that self.
Why Now?
Neurodivergent struggles often intensify during periods of transition or increased demands:
Starting college, changing careers, entering new relationships, becoming a parent, living through collective crises. Each of these moments often carries unspoken demands to "perform" stability, adaptability, and emotional regulation according to capitalist, ableist, and white-centered norms.
In these moments, old coping strategies (masking, pushing through, self-monitoring) can buckle under the weight of new expectations. The strategies that once kept someone afloat can suddenly feel brittle or overwhelming.
Sometimes what gets called "falling apart" is a system finally telling the truth: "I can't survive like this anymore."
Therapy becomes a place where that truth is met with compassion and deep listening - a place where falling apart is not a failure, but the beginning of something more honest.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy for neurodivergence is about making space for each person's authentic way of being, without forcing conformity to limiting norms.
It's about creating space for who you already are. Not who systems demanded you to be.
As a neurodivergent therapist, I don't create clinical distance. This work is personal.
The nuances, the frustrations, the shutdowns, and the sensory overloads are not abstract concepts. They are lived experiences. Shared understanding fundamentally shapes every part of the therapeutic space we create together.
I often integrate Internal Family Systems (IFS) to explore the different "parts" that have developed to survive.
I use Somatic Work to reconnect with the body and help untangle stress and overwhelm.
Gestalt techniques support here-and-now awareness, honoring present experience without judgment.
And ERP helps gradually build tolerance for the sensory, emotional, and cognitive challenges that trigger avoidance.
I also work with folks who are non-verbal.
Communication doesn't need to look one specific way. Whether in person or virtually, we’ll find ways to connect that meet each person's current capacity and needs. We can bond through movement, writing, gesture, shared silence, or whatever form of expression feels safe and accessible.
This work acknowledges that healing is political.
Building a life that honors neurodivergent needs is not just personal growth - it is resistance to systems that profit from shame, burnout, and erasure. This work centers on helping folks reconnect with who they are beneath layers of adaptation, expectation, and survival strategies.
Our Work Together
The work of neurodivergent therapy is not about masking better. It's about unmasking, safely, over time.
It’s about honoring the parts that learned to survive through hyper-focus, dissociation, rigidity, or people-pleasing. It’s about grieving the cost of survival. It's about finding new ways of living that are rooted in presence, not performance.
This work takes time.
It often involves practicing self-compassion, building sensory and emotional regulation, redefining success outside of capitalist measures, and learning to trust internal experience again.
Ultimately, therapy offers a way to live more authentically by creating space for the full, complex, and resilient self that has always been there, even when systems tried to bury it.
